I was fishin' by the side of the road,
Servin' up the bait for my lunch.
Along beside me came a brown horny toad,
Lookin' for some food he would munch.

So I grabbed the fish and tossed it in the lake,
Thinking he could eat what he earned.
And if I caught him I would cut him a break,
But if I didn't it was not my concern.

Jackpot!
And I got one.
Got me a sweet lookin' prize today,
Under the son of a gun it'll make you say,

Jackpot!
And I got an idea.
Got me a new kinda recipe,
I got the deal for the meal of the century.

I was walkin' by the side of the road,
Thinkin' I would cook me a meal.
Along beside me came a mad horny toad,
Lookin' for some food he would steal.

So I grabbed the fish and held it up high,
Knowin' toads are known for their jump.
then I looked the toad right in the thighs,
And noticed that they looked mighty plump.

Jackpot!
And I got one.
Got me a sweet lookin' prize today,
Under the son of a gun it'll make you say,

Jackpot!
And I got an idea.
Got me a new kinda recipe,
I got the deal for the meal of the century.

I was sittin' on a chair in my home,
Servin' up the legs for my friends.
(alternate on 9/9/99: Thinkin' about the legs of my friends)
They asked how I got chicken on such a small bone,
I told them it was simply a godsend.

The moral of the story is you don't ever know,
Who's going to want in on your fun.
And up to the porch came a guy I didn't know,
Offerin' up his money for some.

Jackpot!
And I got one.
Got me a sweet lookin' prize today,
Under the son of a gun it'll make you say,

Jackpot!
And I got an idea.
Got me a new kinda recipe,
I got the deal for the meal of the century.

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Woo-hoo!

Webs on our hands and webs on our toes
Lost all our hair but still we breathe through the nose
Hunts in the water, carnivorous ape
Swims like a porpoise, but is simian-shaped
Aquatic ape
Aquatic ape
Aquatic ape
Aquatic ape

(chorus used to be:
Aquatic Ape
Swimmin' in the water with erotical grape
Erotic Grape
Swimmin' in the water with aquatical ape)

Comes out of the streams and into the lake
We're having fish for dinner, for heaven's sake
And after dinner, we'll pick some fruit
And then we'll go back, bring your swimsuit

I met you in the street (yeah) and you know who I am
Took you back to my place where we started to jam
I looked in your eyes... then I realized
Your head's pretty big, but not as big as the sky
(used to be '...as big as your thighs')

","ape",9,"e2397ce3-857e-425f-925e-1cb30de780d7","Marc Brownstein","

Arguably the silliest song in the Biscuits’ catalog, Aquatic Ape is also one of the oldest: its debut is preceded only by the debuts of Nughuffer and Down to the Bottom. Its silly lyrics and composition are contrasted by a generally dark jam section bookended by an infectious and simple guitar riff.

Despite having been around longer than most songs, Aquatic Ape has always been something of a rarity, having been played less than a hundred times total. Aquatic Ape was played less than ten times in every year but 1999.

1999 was arguably the strongest and most important year for Ape. Traditionally, Aquatic Ape is played with a relaxed dub-style jam, and it was played this way through the middle of 1999. 6/11/99 is notable as the first Aquatic Ape not to be played with a dub style jam (also the first, and one of the only, to not feature the riff that serves as the segue to the song’s jam and peak), and it was played instead in a simple trance style. In the fall of 1999, Ape was played three times. The first, 9/11/99, was unfinished, and was the first jungle style Ape. The other two, on 10/6/99, and 10/10/99, were both ending only, and while the 9/11 version was incomplete, it would be a stretch to say either of these versions were intended to complete it. This was a very progressive setlisting move for the time, when songs were usually played in full or completed.

After 10/10/99, Aquatic Ape sat on the shelf for 35 shows (for about half of these, its author, Marc Brownstein, was out of the band) until it was reintroduced at Camp Bisco II on 8/25/00. Here Aquatic Ape was inverted for the first time (only the fourth song to ever be inverted) as part of a second set palindrome. This Ape, as well as the others from this year, are all played jungle style. The jungle style Ape was prevalent for the rest of its history, but the dub style Ape made occasional appearances, notably on 12/31/01 at the request of Max Dawson, and on 10/18/02, an inverted version widely considered the greatest Aquatic Ape ever.

When Allen joined the band, \tAquatic Ape made a brief resurgence before becoming even more of a rarity. On 2/04/06, Allen played Ape for the first time, segueing into Mr. Don for the show’s encore. This was the first Aquatic Ape in over a year, a gap of 26 shows. Ape was played three more times in 2006, with all but the final, on 12/28/06 at the Sonar, played in the jungle style.

After 2006, Ape sat on the shelf for over two years for its longest hiatus, a gap of 174 shows, until it was performed at the Electric Factory on 4/17/09. The storied three set show also featured the bust-outs of Eulogy (99 shows) and Wet (129 shows). After this perfunctory performance, Ape sat on the shelf for another year and a half before it was played again on 9/1/10 (a gap of 118 shows).

After 2010, Ape was upgraded from perennial rarity to once-or-twice a year status. It was played at least once every year in this time period, with the exception of 2015. The vast majority of these have been inverted, with more than two inverted versions for every other iteration since 2010. Since 2016, Aquatic Ape has only been played inverted. As Aquatic Ape has become something more of a staple, so too has the dub version. It has only been played with the dub jam five times since 12/28/06, but all of those versions were played after 2010: 1/23/11, 5/31/17, 4/19/18, 12/9/18, 5/23/19, were all played with dub jams.

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October 31, 1997